


Cat Got Your Tongue (And Your Shiny Jewel Too)

by AuroraKant



Series: DickGraysonWeek2020 [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Catwoman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: And brotherly bonding? Between Dick and Jason?, Dick Grayson is Catlad | Stray, Dick is a thief, Different Mentor, Fluff, Gen, Heist, I Am Sorry, Jason Todd is Robin, Mother-Son Relationship, Oh yes, Robin!Jason has to stop him!, Selina Kyle is Catwoman, eh, many bad puns, no i'm not, oh no, this is fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23617615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraKant/pseuds/AuroraKant
Summary: Stray just wanted a fun heist with his mom, but nothing can ever go according to plan when Catwoman and Stray take on the city.And when Robin decides to intervene.They were having so much fun until the little birdie showed up!Day 3:Different Mentor(s)
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Selina Kyle
Series: DickGraysonWeek2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697662
Comments: 15
Kudos: 112





	Cat Got Your Tongue (And Your Shiny Jewel Too)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I am back with something a bit more fun-loving today!  
> A sweet little treat for the point-of-no-return of this little challenge...  
> But, Aurora, the event is over?, you say.  
> Well, you though wrong! I have written two prompts per Day and I will continue posting them in the next week or so! ^^  
> Have fun! <3

The night was dark, an inky blackness making it impossible to see further than a few feet. Catwoman liked it that way, loved the darkness and the fact that it made it incredibly hard to spot her against the backdrop of the Natural History Museum.

Catlad loved it, too, but for different reasons. In his mind breathing just got so much easier when nobody was there to watch him perform. When it was dark, he didn’t have to be Dick Grayson, wunderkind, hero, fuck-up. He could just be Catlad or Stray – he hadn’t decided yet if he wanted to branch out a bit more – the prodigy of Catwoman, a master thief in his own right.

That was also the reason why he was following Catwoman right now. The museum would open up an exhibition tomorrow with a giant emerald in its center. And Selina wanted it. Dick too, even though the color really didn’t fit him. But it would look good around Selina’s neck. It would look even better when they cashed it in, and they could finally take that trip to the Bahamas Selina had promised him.

But for that to happen they had to succeed.

Dick was silent when he slowly made his way from the side entrance to the second-floor window. Selina would enter from the roof, so each of them had only one floor to check and proof. Their source had told them that the first floor was currently being renovated, so there was no need to search through that one too. Unless they didn’t find the stone, of course. But if everything went according to the plan, Catlad would find the stone on the second floor before using the escape route Selina had secured on the roof.

It took nothing for Catlad to shimmy the window open without triggering any alarms. He had been doing this for ages now. Literal years. He was one of the best thieves the world had to offer and one day Dick hoped to make a name for himself that was only vaguely linked to Catwoman. She was an angel, she was his mom, but he just wanted to be recognized for who he was, someday.

Not now, though. Now it was still too much fun to plan and perform a heist together with her.

His body contorted effortlessly to fit the small gap that Dick had opened as his entrance. He was very, very flexible and fitting through tight spaces and small openings was like a second nature at this point. 

The insides of the museum were just as dark as the outside. Only emergency signs were illuminated, and they made sure that a slightly red tinged aura painted everything more eerie than it probably was. The creepy masks of the Cultures Around The World exhibit certainly didn’t help.

But Dick had long ago stopped to startle at weird shadows and strange sounds. At this point more often than not, he was the shadow that frightened people. It was easy to ban the horrid eyes of a certainly stolen mask from his mind when he had something better to focus on.

(And wasn’t it just weird that Selina and he were prosecuted for thievery and other crimes, but museums were rewarded for displaying stolen cultural goods? Dick and Selina weren’t giving anything back, of course not, but they were only stealing from the stealers)

There was a stone he wanted to get his paws on, and it was time he kept on going.

The museum was large, the biggest in all of Gotham, and it took him a while before he found what he had been looking for: The exhibition on rare gemstones. He made his way into the silent hallways, sure to stay far away from the motion sensors and trip wires. Gotham had really tested everyone who tried to display art and other valuables into making sure none of the many thieves of Gotham did get in.

It didn’t work, of course. But they tried.

Before he could reach the end of the hallway, however, a crash demanded his attention. Dick turned around, but his eyes found nothing except dark shadows and silent displays of gems and stones. He turned back towards his goal, only now someone _did_ stand in front of him: Robin.

“What are you doing here?”

Dick didn’t even try to hide the exasperation in his voice. Batman had only taken the boy in, so he could prove to Selina that he was capable of raising a child. It was dumb. It was tone-deaf. And Dick was too old for this.

“Stopping you from committing a crime!”

“Do you even know who I am, kid?”

“I am not a kid. I’m 14, thank you very much. And of course, I know who the fu-dge you are: Catlad! Catwoman’s sidekick!”

The child was neither subtle nor quiet, but Dick found that he started to like him. Bruce deserved a kid like this, someone to keep him on his toes.

“Wrong. I am the reason Batman and Catwoman married, and the reason they got divorced.”

“Batman was married?”

“Yes, little grasshopper. Once, a long time ago, the dark knight wedded the stealthy cat – for reasons that had _nothing_ to do with her more _cat-like_ attributes – and they adopted me together.”

They had come to a stop only a couple of feet away from the price Dick was trying to acquire tonight. But the kid was making no move to attack, instead only listening to Dick’s tale, and Dick might be a thief, but he always tried to be gentle when it came to stealing hearts. He continued his story, his voice silent and graceful, his Catlad voice:

“And the three of us had a great few months together. Until he got more and more obsessed with being the Bat and the Cat felt like a domesticated beast instead of the queen she was. So, she took me with her when she fled her golden cage. And she made me her partner, her son, her friend. But what are you, little one?”

It hadn’t happened like that exactly. But Dick could still remember the fights and the screaming that took place whenever Bruce missed multiple meals in a row, or when Selina cashed in on the jewelry of the gala guests. Dick was certain that there were universes in which Bruce and Selina were happy together, his was just not one of them.

“I’m Robin. Batman’s partner.”

The kid – teenager, Dick should really remember that – puffed his chest out and bared his teeth. There was quite a bit of fighting spirit in this kid, and Dick had the vague feeling that it would be fun to play rooftop tag with a guy like that. Only playing with Selina got boring after a while, since she always won.

“Cool. And now that we have finally met – and created a bond of unbreakable stren-“

Another crash and this time it really couldn’t be the kid in front of him who was at fault. Something else was going on.

In that moment the comm unit on Dick’s wrist beeped. With one last glance at Robin, who scanned his surroundings with the trained attention of a Bat, Dick allowed the transmission.

“Stray?”

Yeah, Dick had switched between using Catlad and Stray a lot in the last few months and now he just answered to whatever the person talking to him used.

“Copy, Catwoman”

“There is a group of assailants in the building. I think it’s the Royal Flush Gang.”

Aw, shit.

“Well, isn’t that just purr-fect!”

Both Selina and Robin next to him sighed at his utterly hilarious pun. No one appreciated good humor anymore. But no, really, they had a problem. And it seemed as if Selina had heard that she wasn’t the only one exasperated by his wit:

“Do you have company?”

“I made acquaintances with Robin while scouting the museum.”

No need to tell the kid just what he had wanted to steal. Even if it was pretty obvious.

“Tell him to contact Batman. The Royal Flush Gang is a bit above our paygrade.”

“What are they even doing here?”

At that Robin decided he had waited long enough next to Dick, and intercepted himself into the conversation:

“Probably the same thing you are doing. The Gang has shown great interest in big gemstones that are rumored to have magical abilities. The big emerald that the museum is showing falls under that category. They’re the reason I am actually here. I wanted to check the stone out, see if it was worth anything.”

“Then call Batman and we’re outta here.”

At that Robin grew silent. Suspiciously silent.

“Batman knows you’re here, right?”

More silence was the answer.

“Fuck.”

“Well, this puts a damper on my plans for the evening…”

Selina sounded amused but Dick could hear the underlying tension in her voice. She didn’t like that Dick and Robin were this close to a gang that dangerous. They had fought the Justice League! Catwoman and Catlad might have been career criminals, yes, but there was a difference between a criminal and a supervillain. A big one at that.

“Where is Batman, kid?”

“On a mission for the Justice League. I was supposed to stay put, but Zatanna mailed the clue/hint to the Cave and I just wanted to take a look. And then I saw you shimmy open a window and followed you inside.”

“Aw, shit. What now?”

“Now you get your asses out of the museum and all three off us can explain to Batman later why the Royal Flush Gang had such an easy job in grabbing the stone.”

The annoyance was clear as day in Selina’s voice when she spoke next. That happened quite often. Whenever Selina was nervous or frightened, she started off sounding amused and ended up being utterly annoyed with anyone. It was her way of coping.

And for once in his life Dick was ready to do what he was told. He really didn’t want to fight tonight; his skin-tight suit had only just gotten fixed. The fact that he could sleep better at night if he wasn’t at fault for accidentally putting Robin in danger, was also a good reason. But schematics.

“Copy”

Dick grabbed Robin by the collar of his tunic, and turned around, ready to singlehandedly drag him out of the building, when a member of the Gang rounded a corner, suddenly standing right in front of them. Dick was too slow to stop them, crashing head-first into the broad chest of Ace. Robin, behind him, could only barely save himself from the same fate.

“Fuck.”

“Hello, lads. What are you doing here?”

“Wow, that’s so nice of you, Ace, to ask this. Me and my friend… Birdie over there, were just taking a scroll through the museum at night, stretching our legs a bit. You know how it is, the early bird catches the worm, but the cat gets double.”

Ace didn’t seem to be impressed by whatever bullshit Dick’s mouth produced while he was busy searching for an escape route. Next to him Robin did the same, though his glances where far less subtle. But Ace, as it seemed, didn’t want to wait for them to find a good excuse for being here, instead he grabbed Catlad by his deep V-neck and Robin by his collar and flung both of them back into the gemstone exhibit. It was as if they weighted nothing to him.

Dick hated enhanced robot humans.

His horrible pun didn’t make it any better to bear:

“Yeah, and curiosity killed the cat!”

Dick wanted to yell “That isn’t even original!” but before he could do that, his body crashed through multiple glass displays. For a few moments he couldn’t breathe, every bit of air being pushed from his lungs by the force of the impact. Thankfully Selina had insisted on making his suit more durable, so it resisted most piercing weapons. Getting thrown against a glass table counted.

Robin across the room from Dick seemed to be coming to his senses as well. The boy had a cut on his leg but seemed otherwise unharmed. Slowly Dick was pushing himself upright, only to notice that Ace was steadily getting closer. Closer to Robin.

Dick brought his comm unit close to his mouth and whispered:

“Ace got us. We wanted to retreat, and he surprised us”

“Copy. Try to run and hide. I’ll be there in a bit. Survive till then.”

They would do that. But first Dick had to make sure that Ace didn’t reach Robin. The kid was only 14 and Dick felt a weird need to protect him. Especially since he knew it would be his fault if the boy got harmed.

“Hey, Ace! Wanna hear a joke?”

“No”

It had been easy to get Ace’s attention. Now he only had to make him angry enough to ensure that he would come after Dick. By the exasperated look on Robin’s face, he knew exactly what Dick was planning.

“Too bad, you get one anyways: Why don’t you have a girlfriend? Because you’re too slow to catch some pussy.”

Together with his punchline, Dick flipped back, making a complicated twist, before landing in the middle of the room. The distance between himself and Robin had grown, but now Ace was fully charging in his direction, anger visible on his face.

“Urgh!”

Dick threw whatever he could get his hands on to slow Ace down. Glass, gems, pearls, pieces of stone. When Ace was closing in, however, Dick dropped low, kicking Ace’s ankle with full force. That and the yelled “Take that, you asshat!” from Robin was enough to momentarily distract the giant robot man.

It was easy to end his kick in a tumble over the floor and start running as soon as his feet were touching the ground again. Behind him Dick could feel Ace getting back up, but he couldn’t care less. They needed to get out. That was the main objective here.

Dick reached Robin, and instead of having to once again grab his collar, Robin immediately started running alongside him.

“That was so cool! Can you show me the kick? I bet Batman doesn’t know it.”

“Oh, he knows it well enough. Cat loves to tease him with it.”

“What?”

“Run!”

Ace had finally remembered that he was capable of firing energy blasters, sending surges of blue-pulsing energy after the boys. Dick and Robin only barely managed to avoid being hit, once again being stopped from their attempt to escape by Ace. This was getting old fast.

But instead of coming to a halt, Dick ran even faster, jumping over one display after the other, Robin in tight pursuit.

“We have to distract him.”

“Yeah”

“He seems to lose his cool really fast”

“Yeah”

It was hard to run fast and talk while doing it, but they really had no time to stop and chat about a plan.

“You good in being a little shit?”

“The best!”

Robin turned around and charged in a different direction. Dick’s eyes were barely able to follow before he had to concentrate on evading the obstacle course in front of him. But even without seeing where Robin went, he could hear him:

“Hey! Fuckface! I think you lost something: Your dignity!”

Each exclamation was punctuated with a thrown piece of glass. And it worked. Ace focused on the tiny screaming traffic light instead of Dick, who was climbing on top of one of the pillars who decorated the far east side of the room. He could see rafters stretching the whole room and the pillars seemed to be the only place of access.

And when he had reached the top, Dick was the one spewing insults before Ace decided to test his blaster against the agility of Robin:

“Wanna play catch? You can be the mouse – and I’ll be the cat!”

With that Dick pushed himself down from his makeshift hideout, squarely hitting Ace in the back. Before the giant could react, Dick slung his whip – he should really use it more often – around his neck. It was easy to pull it tight and it was even easier to wait until Ace started swaying and finally falling down.

“Cat got your tongue?”

“Why are you constantly making so many horrible cat jokes? Not even Catwoman is that bad!”

Robin had appeared by his side, kicking the unconscious Ace a few times to make sure he was down. Dick glanced at the kid and said:

“That just means you don’t know her that well. And as a Gotham Rogue you need to live up to your brand. I mean, Batman? Hello? With the Batmobile? And the Bat-cave? You aren’t any better.”

“Yeah, but he is literally the only one who calls it that.”

“Good to know.”

Selina interrupted their bantering, a curious look on her face. Dick followed her eyes and saw the destruction of what must have been a once quite pretty exhibition. It was time for them to go.

“You calling the police, Robin?”

“Yeah, but… I should arrest you, too.”

“Look, kiddo” – and somehow Selina sounded so much more mature when she said it – “We helped you out just now, and we had no time to do anything illegal beyond entering a closed public building. Just let us go, and you can hunt us again when Batman is back, okay?”

Robin didn’t seem to be happy with that assessment, but he also knew that he had no chance against two older criminals of Gotham’s more flavorful variant. His nod was short and a bit stilted, but Dick could understand. He had felt the same once upon a time when Selina sidelined him in favor of her more dangerous heists.

One day the kid would be one of the great heroes and then he would be allowed to fight who he wanted to fight. Until then, his job was to wait for the police.

“What happened to the rest of the Royal Flush Gang?”

Yeah, Dick had wondered the same and it seemed as if the kid’s mouth was even faster than Dick’s.

“I locked them out. They had sent in Ace first, and by the time they were ready to circumvent the manual lockdown mechanisms, you two had triggered the silent alarms. They didn’t want to risk getting caught as well.”

Dick nodded. That made sense. Only very few thieves had something resembling honor. Luckily, Dick was one of them:

“Nice. And good job, kid. I bet Batman doesn’t say it often enough. You were great out there! And maybe we’ll see each other again for a round of rooftop tag!”

With a last wave Dick followed Selina as she made her way to the nearest window. The alarm was already triggered, there was no need to make a silent exit.

They were watching the police clean up the scene from a rooftop far enough away to not be noticed, but close enough to see all the action.

“When do you think they’ll notice?”

“Notice what?”

Dick rolled his eyes. Selina loved to act as if she had no idea what was going on, even if she was the smartest person in a room. She knew exactly what he was talking about.

“The fact that in midst of the show down in the exhibition, the star of it all went missing.”

Dick unclasped the emerald from a tiny pocket hidden under the holster of his whip, where he had put it after jumping down from the rafter and landing besides just the right display. It was heavy in his hand and Dick couldn’t stop grinning when he watched the moonlight reflect in the green gem.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

“Oh, absolutely. And it will pay for that holiday you keep on moaning about.”

That made Dick laugh:

“As if you aren’t just as thirsty for some nice _cock_ tails at the pool and a good view.”

“Stray! Who taught you that language!”

Now both of them were giggling like schoolchildren. The mood was always giddy when a job was finally done, and the adrenaline started to subside. It was nice to sit next to his mom, the gem they had come to get in his hands, while watching the police arrest someone else.

It was nice to just be Catwoman and Stray. Catwoman and Catlad. Catwoman and her son.

It was nice to just be himself.


End file.
